No, not the Dan Brown book.  Though I will say it was my favorite Dan Brown novel, and the movie was quite good as well, much better than the overly lauded “DaVinci Code.”

What I mean is that Jenna has mostly been an angel and Michael?  Well, this week Michael seems to have been possessed by some kind of horrible, awful, terrible twos demon.  Here is where most other “mommy blogs” (shudder) will shut their cyber traps, choosing instead to only write about the smart, adorable, sweet things their children are doing.

But I, Carolicious, believe I would be doing a disservice to mothers and potential mothers everywhere if I didn’t give you the straight dope.  Two-year olds are wonderful creatures but God Almighty, can they be monsters.  That’s not even a strong enough word.  Saying that Michael has been a monster lately would do a strong disservice to monsters.  Monsters could come and take some monster lessons from this kid.

A month or two after Jenna was born Michael went through about a month long phase where he would constantly hit, kick, throw things, scream, yell, and just be otherwise contrary.  I chalked it up to jealousy over all the attention his new little sister was receiving.  Somehow or another it blew over, and for a few months he was hit/kick/throw free.

But lately he has been unruly in general and particularly mean to his sister, poking, pinching, pushing, and punching.  Some days it seems like he’s in “time out” more than he’s in “time in.”  I’ve read a million different things about disciplining children and tried just about every tactic; time-out, ignoring the behavior altogether, and taking away toys/priveleges.  Nothing seems to work.  We are not proponents of spanking, since it seems totally illogical that I would punish Michael for hitting by… well, hitting.  I also think that spanking sets a “might makes right” precedent, which is simply not how things are done in the real world.

The only time I’ve ever managed to successfully get Michael to stop his actions and show remorse was when, completely at my wit’s end, I absolutely burst into giant crocodile tears.  Michael took one look at my tears, quivered his lower lip, and cried inconsolably for about a half hour, curled up on my chest.  Maybe that’s the key to discipline right there.  Make your child think they’ve pushed you THIS CLOSE to completely losing your shit.

I visited one of my favorite blogs the other day and she wrote, far better and funnier than I, a post about this very subject (except that her son is 4… lord help me).  It’s nice to know I’m not the only one, I suppose.  Internet, if you’ve got any pearls of wisdom, pass ‘em on.

On the other hand, Michael is doing some pretty cute and amazing things, too, such as counting to ten with gusto, singing the ABC song, and just singing songs in general.  The other day Michael saw a photo of Muffin and I on our wedding day, and when he asked what it was I explained to him that Mommy and Daddy are married.  He said, “Daddy married Mommy.  Michael gonna marry Mommy, too!”  Everybody now… AAAAWWWW.

This week Jenna has been as charming and lovely as can be.  Of course, I could just be saying this because she slept through the night last night, a feat she has accomplished only a handful of times in her eight months of life.  Her latest trick is waving AND SAYING “Hi!”  Only when she says it, it comes out like, “HiiiEEEEEEEEE,” confirming that “valley girls” really must just be born that way.  Further confirmation has been garnered by her other new trick, putting the phone up to her ear and  babbling into it.  I don’t know what she’s saying, but I imagine it goes something like this:

“Ohmigod, are you serious?  SHUT. UP.  That is like, so awesome.”

She is also the proud owner of two new sparkly teeth and has taken to self feeding with gusto, particularly foods of the Cheerio variety.

A few weeks ago we had some photos taken by a local photographer, James Olson of Alderbrook Imaging.  He did an amazing job and I highly recommend his services to anyone who lives in our area.  I’m posting a few photos below that I particularly love; the rest, if you’re interested, are posted here.

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